Problem –
Solution Essay Draft-1
Teenagers now have moved from “text me later” messages to
“sext me later”. According to the Oxford Dictionary sexting is the sharing of
explicit photographs or sexual text through mobile phones. As young as a 10
year old kid sext his or her friends. A survey shows that about 22% out of 410
grade seven students in the U.S have participated in sexting (1). Though it
might be not that prevalent and serious and Singapore, sexting is slowly
gaining momentum among young teenagers of Singapore too.
There are several reasons for teens to participate in
sexting. The first and the foremost one is that the pressure among the young
teens to gain popularity among their real friends as well as their virtual ones
on social networking sites (2). And social media has proven to be a powerful tool
for the teenagers who have gone to the extent of sharing their nude selfies
with their friends. Another reason that prompts the teenagers to take such
explicit pictures is due to hyper sexuality – the increased sexual behaviour in
teens.
Many might wonder why such an unethical act is gaining popularity
among teenagers. A survey has revealed that often a teenager engages in sexting
only after he has received such. Though many sharing of explicit photographs
and sexual texts are widespread, it is a pity that many do not know its
long-lasting effects and most importantly, it might be against the law if
caught.
Because of the rise of sending explicit pictures and sexual
texts among young teenagers of Singapore, the Ministry of Education should
introduce interesting classes in schools to educate the young about the dangers
of sexting on social networking sites and apps.
It is necessary to stop the teenagers from sexting at an
early stage as sexting has grievous consequences. The most obvious one is that
sexual messages and explicit photos of oneself can be easily distributed once
it has reached the wrong hands. The aftermath might be that the teenager might
not be able to go to school the next day, fearing humiliation, or it can be as
serious as suicide attempts. Teenagers think that their personal pictures are
kept safe on their mobile phones. However, such data are retrieved somehow by
sexual predators. Sexual predators collect explicit picture of oneself and
blackmail the person in the picture to send more or to meet them in person. One
such case was dealt in Wisconsin, USA. David weaver, 51 from Cedarburg,
disguised himself as a young girl and collected explicit pictures and videos of
more than 100 children across the country (3). Even if a teenager does not get
into any such troubles as mentioned above, they might face issues in the
future. They might know that their sexts have been leaked out. This poses
problems when they apply for universities or jobs in the future.
Many nations have implemented various measures to curb this
trend among young teenagers. Depending upon the circumstances, a teenager
sending, receiving or possessing explicit pictures or sexual texts can be
prosecuted. In Singapore, sexting is dealt under Undesirable Publications Act
(4). However actions
are only taken upon a complaint. Due to unclear and penalties, a teenager would
not file a complaint against the person who would have misused the sext that
the teenager has sent. This is because the teenager, though being the victim,
might fear of being prosecuted for sending such inacceptable texts or pictures
in the first place.
As cases related to sexting are more in the west, legal
measures are carefully drafted keeping in mind that there are children under
the age of 18 involved in such cases. For example in Texas, a law has been
passed that performs a misdemeanour on the initial attempt of sexting by a
minor. If the child finishes his or her sexting education course, the child is
sentenced to community supervision. This
law has clear penalties and drafted specially for the teenagers. Such clear
laws are important as if teenagers are sentenced to the same penalties as the
adults, teenagers’ future will be affected. And moreover, the intention behind
sexting among young teenagers are different from that of the majors. Young
teenagers often do it thinking it is fun and common.
As even though,
sexting has become widespread and have led to critical cases in the U.S, a
survey shows that not many students know it is illegal. Hence, before sexting
becomes a major issue in Singapore, the students have to be educated on this
sensitive issue. The Ministry of education plays an important role in this. It
will be very effective if sexting and other related issues are dealt as an
ungraded subject introduced as early as in primary schools. The content can be
modified so that it is appropriate for different age groups. In higher and secondary
level, the moral and ethical conduct on social networking sites and apps can be
taught along with religious and ethnic beliefs. This will not alone help to
reduce the trend of sexting among Singaporean teenagers but also promises to
develop the future generation with lesser sex crimes and issues like teenage
pregnancy. This suggestion can be strongly supported by a study that has been
conducted in the United States. It shows that teenagers who are sexting are at
high chances of being sexually active or to have unprotected sex (6).
In conclusion, in a city like Singapore which is constantly
under the external influences, it would not take a long time for sexting to
become prevalent situation. As teens are lured to sext due to their
misconceptions and wrong believes of sexual life it is necessary for the
Ministry of Education to formulate a course or subject in school to cultivate good
values and ethics which will discourage any immoral activities like sexting at
a young age. However, one has to think. Did not sexting started among the
adults first and then later taken by the teens. So should not the adults be
also educated on ethical conduct on social networking sites and apps?
(998 words)
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow the discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
ReplyDeleteI think the essay is very informative and convincing. The solutions are multi-pronged.
2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
The problem present is clear and focus.
The first paragraph defined what sexting is about and the problem it caused.
The main thesis is not clearly identified. The first paragraph only mentions sexting is slowly spreading to Singapore.
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
The first solution is for MOE to educate the young. First solution is well evaluate on the ‘importance of implementation’ but very limited in the ‘effect of implementation’. So it appears indirect.
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
The second solution is the current solution that describe the law against sext. It mentions why Singapore law against sexting may not be effective as compared to the west. However, this solution ends with education again. Maybe it will be better to group the last part together with the first solution.
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
I think the solutions can be further evaluate. Maybe on the outcomes of those solutions.
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
The author effectively uses outside sources to supports her arguments. Good use cross reference with other countries on reflecting the limitations of Singapore law.
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
I think the flow is a little messy. Some problems were mixed together with solutions.
Eg. “Because of the rise of sending explicit pictures and sexual texts among young teenagers in Singapore, the Ministry of Education should introduce interesting classes in schools to educate the young about the dangers of sexting on social networking sites and apps. It is necessary to stop the teenagers from sexting at an early stage as sexting has grievous consequences.” The problem was followed by the solution.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
ALL CLEAR!!
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
The citations are incomplete.
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
I think the structure of the essay can be made clearer. Solutions can be further develop. Maybe cut down on the contents and fill in with more arguments.
Thank you Lan Xin! This is really helpful
DeleteI will be much obliged if you can explain 1st and 7th :)