Monday, 16 February 2015


READER RESPONSE DRAFT 3

In the article “Who’s the true enemy of internet freedom -China, Russia or the U.S”, Morozov (2015) asserts that though Russia and China restrict internet freedom to maintain their technological sovereignty on their land, it is the U.S that exploits internet freedom to assert its digital sovereignty globally. It is reported in the article that the U.S have great interest in the information that are serviced by their companies but stored elsewhere. Finally the author concludes that countries are imposing stricter internet censorship and control over their citizens’ data not just in response to domestic tension, but concerning the growing technological supremacy of the U.S.

 I strongly agree with the author’s assertion. However I would further go by adding that the U.S does not only exert its supremacy in technology but in many other areas; and that its influence often had positive impacts.

There has been rise and fall of regional and global powers since the age of civilization. A well-known example will be the Imperial rule, which was not a pleasant experience for many. In this age, the U.S seems to emerge as a global power. Through its diplomatic ways, it is able to influence world’s politics, power, military and many more. However, its “regime” appears to keep it most of poeple across the globe happy.
With its great influence in military and politics, the U.S has helped relieve tensions in many countries, particularly its allies. For example, when the Iraq tried to take over Kuwait in the 1990, the U.S sent its military troops in support of the smaller nation Kuwait (Johns, in.d). In 1950s to late 1900, it helped Vietnam to end communism, though it was not successful. Currently, the U.S along with other nations is taking serious actions to bring down the atrocities of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

The world is facing many issues together, like the fuel shortage and the increase of terrorism and corruption. At this point of time, many might think that the U.S is taking advantage of its authoritative position by interfering into these issues. Indeed, I believe that the U.S is leading this world in the right way to solve the issues. For example, the U.S relaxed its military control over its storage of oil that has helped the oil prices to decrease in the recent times. Referring back to the article, Morozov tells us that the U.S urges internet freedom but exploits it to retrieve data serviced by its companies globally. But Morozov fails to tell us the reasons for the Americans to behave hypocritical. On one hand, internet freedom is slowly emerging as a basic freedom, as many spend most of their time on the internet. In times of domestic tensions, such freedom has helped people to share or report the actual situation and to summon for necessary help. On the other hand, internet freedom can also be used as a powerful tool by terrorists. This then necessitates for the data in the cyber world to be inspected.

In response to Morozov’s article, I would like to suggest that several nations could come together and form a committee to handle retrieving and screening data. And at the same time they should abide by strict rules to ensure internet freedom.

As stated previously, the rise and fall of powers are not something new, it is cyclical. In my opinion, no one can stop a nation from flourishing and becoming powerful, as long as it develops itself in a legitimate way and benefits everyone equally. In this context, the domination of the U.S in technological and in many other sectors cannot be held wrong.

(606 words)

Reference:

Morozov, P. (2015, January 4). Who’s the true enemy of the internet freedom – China, Russia, or the U.S? The Guardian. Retrieved from
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/04/internet-freedom-china-russia-us-google-microsoft-digital-sovereignty

John, D. (in.d). The Crimes of Saddam Hussein:1990 Invasion of Kuwait. Frontline World. Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/stories/iraq501/events_kuwait.html

1 comment:

  1. Thank you, Pryanga, for this effort. You provide a fairly accurate summary. You also provide clear opinions in your thesis statement(s), though you need to work on your means of expression. (We are talking about this issue in class on Tuesday.) For me, the greatest weakness in this essay is that your overall development falters --especially in the 3rd paragraph -- and your ideas lose focus because your thesis is ineffectively developed. This results in a weighty but unconvincing discussion of America's place in the world, through to paragraph four. Midway through that fourth paragraph, you refocus back on the article and your analysis. This should be the main thrust of your response.

    Issues that need review then include:

    --- In the summary you have these two phrases:
    1) it is the U.S that exploits and 2) the U.S have...
    Do you see the inconsistency?

    --- ...not just in response to domestic tension, but concerning the growing technological supremacy of the U.S.. >>>
    "concerning" is the wrong word for use here

    --- that countries >>> this seems vague

    --- You write: I strongly agree with the author’s assertion. >>> which one?

    --- further go >>> go further

    --- I strongly agree with the author’s assertion. However I would further go by adding that the U.S does not only exert its supremacy in technology but in many other areas; and that its influence often had positive impacts. >>>

    Is this an effective thesis? Is it possible to narrow the topic, and to NOT use the word "I" in it?

    --- Imperial rule, which was not a pleasant experience for many. >>> how to narrow the focus of a sentence like this?

    --- Through its diplomatic ways, it is able to influence world’s politics, power, military and many more. However, its “regime” appears to keep it most of poeple across the globe happy. >>>
    Why do you use the word "however"?

    --- late 1900, >>> the late 20th century?

    --- ... it helped Vietnam to end communism, though it was not successful. >>> huh? It helped, but didn't? Rephrase please.

    --- You write: For example, the U.S relaxed its military control over its storage of oil that has helped the oil prices to decrease in the recent times.
    >>> Do you have a citation for this? If you don't, such an assertion lack credibility.

    --- Starting with the following sentence, I would start a new paragraph: Referring back to the article, Morozov tells us that the U.S urges internet freedom but exploits it to retrieve data serviced by its companies globally. >>> Why do you suppose?

    --- Your last citation in the reference list can be refined.

    I look forward to a refined third draft.

    ReplyDelete